Management Lessons

LESSON 1:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like youand do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So,the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of asudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,you must be sitting very, very high up.




LESSON 2:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to beable to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but Ihaven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of mydroppings?"replied the bull "They're packed with nutrients." The turkeypecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enoughstrength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, aftereatingsome more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after afortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon hewaspromptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top,but it won't keep you there.


LESSON 3:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It wasso cold, that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung onit. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began torealize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laythere all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passingcat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following thesound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, andpromptly dug him out and ate him!

The Morals of this story:1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is yourfriend.3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

LESSON 4:

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted tobe boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because Icontrol the whole body's responses and functions. "The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry thebrain about and get him to where he wants to go." Thehands said, " We should be the Boss because we do allthe work and earn all the money." And so it went onand on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes untilfinally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed atthe idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the assholewent on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the handsclenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs beganto panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they alldecided that the asshole should be the Boss, so themotion was passed. All the other parts did all thework while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!



Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a Boss- any asshole will do.